Always his friend
by Alessariddle
Summary: ...never his girl.Ana Maria reflects.[oneshot]


_**A/N: My first POTC fic.Pleeeease reviw. It makes me sooo happy.**_

_**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters.**_

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**_ ALWAYS HIS FRIEND,NEVER HIS GIRL_**

Another day on _The Black Pearl._ He is at the helm once more. Majestic to the point of slightly ridiculous he's watching the horizon. A rare passion settles in his eyes whenever he gazes into the abyss. The sweet, sweet abyss that is nothing more then the sea gently touching the sky.

Oh, I am being stupid. Love is making me think stupid thoughts that have no place in a pirate's mind. But still, he is rather hansom ...looking tall…a lot taller than he really is.

He once said that _The Pearl_ is freedom, but I think it's more than that. It's what makes him Captain Jack Sparrow; it's what gives him reason to keep fighting in that obnoxious style of his. It's not the source of his wits but rather the thing that sustains them. It makes him…more. More powerful, more beautiful, taller, weirder…just more…him?! Or maybe, that is just what freedom is for him. Maybe _The Pearl _is **his **freedom.

He is special in his weirdness, complicated in his lovely and permanent rum-intoxicated state. Unholy in every cell of his body and yet not exactly a sinner. Maybe he is actually a sin, but he can't be. That would mean that he was more than human, perhaps even dream-like, and he is nothing if not real.

There is nothing to understand in him. He's just…_**Captain**_ Jack Sparrow.

Underestimate him and you're dead. Try to understand him and your dead. He can charm anything that thinks with a minor side effect: that anything will surely be ready to slap him as soon as he is out of sight.

It's quite obvious that is a lot more to him that the low-life (in the navy's opinion), the drunk (in most people opinion) or the captain (in the crew's opinion). He is himself. And that is in **my **opinionthe perfect explanation and I should know better, after all, I'm the woman who loves him…

But sadly not the woman he loves. I think that the only female whom he loves is _The Pearl_.

A normal woman in love will probably say that she loves him more than anything. I can't say that. Like him, I love the sea, the ship, my freedom more. But that doesn't mean I don't love him with all my heart.

After stealing my ship I was ready to murder him. But when I heard he was recruiting a crew I couldn't bring myself to care for the lost ship, because I knew it was lost, it's in his nature…anyway, I got a place on the ship with only vengeful thoughts running through my head. But then I realized I would much rather sail under his command. So, I put on an act, slapped him (he deserved it, the dog) and accepted his (more likely Will's) offer. And that's how it started. Again.

We went through some terrible adventures and we returned for him…in the end. Then our life as a crew with him as our captain started yet again…

I was always there for him and we were very good friends. I think he put more trust in me than it would be normal for a pirate, but I knew he made the right decision.

I sometimes tried to ease my own pain saying: "Don't be foolish Ana Maria, you know what they say, if a person doesn't love you in the romantic way, it doesn't mean he doesn't love you with all their heart."

And those words meant a lot to me. They made me proud and honored. But that did little to ease my soul's pain.

I am good actor. I will always be one. It's quite funny really, how I say I love him, yet, I can lie to him so easily. I sometimes ask myself why he doesn't see that I love him then acidly answer myself that it's because I lie to him every single day. And somehow, that doesn't help me. I still feel like he should know better. And yet, if he would love me and pretend he didn't, I don't know if I would be able to tell the difference.

My mind's a mess.

One thing I know for sure that he will always come back to me. I have one thing that all those women (whores plus Elisabeth…till now) don't have. His constant presence. I know that we will always be close and that even if he were to find a woman he loves he will always be close to his Ana…

I will always be his friend never his girl.

I don't know if that really is enough or if it's just sad. It's just…the way it is….now.

_**Always his friend, never his girl.**_

_**A/N: I know, it's short. It's meant to be a one-shot but if you like it, I will continue it. Just tell me what you think.Review!**_


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